Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The real meaning of a wedding

We are officially 15 months out from our wedding.  I know that seems like a "normal" engagement, or even still a bit longer.  Let's just say that we have luxury of time.  In that time though, people like me (read: detail oriented, every detail will be perfect) have a bit of a struggle relaxing... Literally.  I don't have nightmares of my wedding, yet.  But I do have random wedding detail ideas that appear in my dreams... side note, do you have dreams where you have a "good idea" but when you wake up and remember it, it's kind of crazy and would only make sense in your dream? Yeah, I get that a lot.

So, my craze goes in waves.  Some weeks I daydream a bit obsessively about my flowers, then the next I'll be dreaming about my dress.  This week, it's about the actual ceremony.  What on EARTH am I going to say to the man that I love?  in front of all the people we love! I've been going back and forth in my mind about vows.  These are the words that I will say (and him too,) that will bond us as husband and wife.  They are our words of commitment and affection. 

I would love for them to be personal.  Then I remember the "to have and to hold..." time tested vows.  I'll go back to both of us writing separate vows.  But he would struggle writing his.  Maybe we can write ours together, say the same vows...  In the end, this has to be the most thought out detail of our wedding.  Even if the reception food is sucky or the flowers are sort of wilty (WHICH THEY WILL NOT BE! Because those too are up to me!), saying our vows will be the most important part of the wedding.  It has the most depth. 

Sometimes I have to remind myself (and I think it's because of the whole wedding industry,) that the wedding is not the reception, it is not the flowers, the cake, the photographer.  It is a huge day in my life and I want those things... but the reason that people gather is to see us, the couple make a life altering commitment of faith and trust to each other. 

This isn't to say that I won't be planning every detail to a T! Because I will!

Oh and I think I found my wedding ring to go with my gorgeous engagement ring! I love my ring but it's been a pain to find one that fits around the base of the diamond... this ring still makes me smile every time I look down at my hand.

Did you write your vows? 
How did you involve your guests in your wedding? 
Did you do something that was unique to your wedding?
Did you have a memorable reading?


  1. Dang! That is a BEAUTIFUL ring! Ben and I are going to use the traditional vows, I think they say exactly everything just right :)

  2. My husband and I decided to go with semi traditional vows, but we added our own stuff in too. I loved it because I think the traditional vows are great but since we added our own stuff there was definitely a more personal touch. I also came up with the wording for our invitations which wasn't traditional but I also loved! :) I couldn't agree more with you, I think sometimes we get so caught up in the planning and wanting everything to be perfect that we forget about the real reason for the day. When it comes down to it all the flowers, cake, or other details don't really matter as long as the man you love is by your side saying "I do." Good luck girl, and I love your ring btw! :)


  3. We had the traditional vows, but we also wrote our own the day before (haha, last minute). Sadly neither of us know what happened to the slips of paper with them on it =/

    Our guests had to play games (the DJ ran them) to "win" their spot in line for the buffet.

    You've got tons of time lady, it'll all be fine. =)

  4. We wrote our entire ceremony ourselves, including our vows which we kept as a surprise to one another. Our wedding was just over a week ago, and I'm planning on blogging all about it as soon as we get our photos back! Have fun planning, your ring is beautiful!

  5. when the coastie and i got engaged we planned for a year long engagement, giving us plenty of time to hammer out the wedding details, but then military life happened and we pushed it up 6 months, and then we realized BAH wouldn't kick in until 3 days after our already booked wedding we decided to have a "legal" wedding in May abroad his ship and our big family church wedding will be on August 8, 2010.

    the Coastie was really proud of getting to plan the first wedding and he was so excited that was going to be THE DAY we were husband and wife. I did not at all take that wedding seriously, I kept saying that it was the "practice" wedding or the "pretend" wedding because the real one was going to be the BIG august wedding in a church, in front of our friends and family, and THAT would make it REAL.

    I realized...about 5 minutes before the ceremony...that the big fancy dress, the matching centerpieces, and the 200 guest count for the large wedding isn't what MADE it a WEDDING. Only him and I together- with the Lord could do that. As I was escorted onto that ship it totally hit me that THIS WAS IT. There was the love of my life, and here I am in a simple short white dress...and it was P E R F E C T.

    We did the "Will you.." vows and after wards read our written vows to one another (SO important) and I cried. I was so moved by his love that was completely surrounding me, and I just felt like I was in Heaven.

    THAT DAY was our REAL wedding. Yes, we get to do it all over again- this time all out with the huge chapel, the fun reception, flowers, food, people, etc. but our wedding on his ship was the most amazing thing. I will always treasure that day in my heart.

    I feel like had I just done the regular American-ised big wedding I would've flipped out over the little things and lost focus on what the purpose of it all was.

    Through the ship wedding I was reminded of unconditional love. It doesn't matter where you are, or who else is present- what matters is you and your true love making an eternal commitment.

  6. sorry i meant to say BAH wouldn't kick in for 3 WEEKS after the wedding (meaning I would have to live in a hotel all of that a beach the middle of summer-way too pricey)


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