Monday, March 29, 2010

Dear School,

Dear University of Maryland School of Social Work,

I love you. I haven't met a single professor or know what I'll be doing for my field placement but I love you.

You accepted me as your student for the Fall of 2010 and I feel like I have a renewed sense of purpose again. Thank you for opening up your school to me to be able to study!! I know I am a dork and that it is strange that I love it but this is one HAPPY day for me.

I promise to be a good student and be active in your student clubs. I'll do my best to do good things while I study in your four walls.

I am so freaaaaking excited.
Love always (well, for two years, actually...),

Friday, March 26, 2010

Taking a moment

I am so insanely sad that it has taken me this long to process... Please follow this link to read Mrs. Porto's account of her Marine's death.

First let me preface by saying that I cannot express how sad this made (and still makes) me. It was like the earth moved and fell apart. I have read other spouse's stories about their fallen loved ones but this one hit me insanely hard.

I've never met her. But I've been reading (in the most un-creepy way, stalking) her blog.
She is a Camp Lejeune Marine wife. I live in Camp Lejeune and it hit way close to home.
She just had their first baby, Ariana. Beautiful girl. The pregnancy was the real reason I got sucked into her blog in the first place...
After reading her blog, I always thought to myself, this is a girl I could be friends with!

So I'm sad. I want to send her hugs through the internet to know that people (even ones she has never met or probably will never meet) are thinking about her and her loss.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Are you sure you want to marry HIM?

* It took me a ridiculous amount of time to write this. I don't expect the intended reader to ever see it but I needed to get it off my chest.  

Dear _____ (a person who I care so deeply about),

I don't expect you to understand.  You've seen me go through several relationships convinced that he could be "the one."  Rather, that was me trying to convince myself that somebody loved me enough to bestow that title unto me...

Well, I'm here. I'm in love, engaged and ready to start the next chapter in my life, with this man, my Marine.  You don't think it's glamorous or sexy. All you see is what you see from your television.  The men and women dying in our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I get it. I know that you don't understand that to me, he isn't just a Marine. To me, he is the man who loves me even when I am the grouchiest-grouch on the planet or when I've just woken up and my hair is standing in a million different directions.  He is the man who makes me laugh and tries hard to keep the foundation of our relationship strong.  I cherish that.

I know that being career military means that he will get deployed.  Yes, I'll have to sit through pre-deployment briefs where they will talk about wills and CACO (Casualty Assistance Call Officer, worst job ever... the person who goes to a house to tell them that their loved one has been killed) that I don't want to hear.  We'll have to say a temporary goodbye so he can go fight for his country. Yeah, it sucks. (tears)

But becoming a military spouse is an honor. I have learned about a world I had no prior knowledge.  I get to spread my love (and sometimes grumbles) about the military to my liberal friends who probably still have no understanding... I get to be a teammate of this crazy-awesome web of military spouses who share their stories and listen to yours when you need it most.

Nobody in their right mind would send their loved one out to war without hoping that he/she comes back, safe and sane. 

I don't want him to get deployed. But he will. That's something that I have to come to terms with. I have to learn to pray and pray well for him to come home.

But please, please don't ask me "are you sure you're choosing the right guy?" Or implying "shouldn't you just marry somebody safer? Maybe a investment banker or a lawyer or a teacher?" Because the man I fell in love with is a Marine. I'm not changing my mind. I'm planning on standing by his side until he decides he is done.

Believe what you will of what you hear from your news stations.  Maybe, if you listened to the actual hub-bub of military life, you'd understand it's not all scary. Maybe even you'd like it on the inside...

Love and pain,

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wedding Planning

I'm Happy. I love planning. I am perpetually making notes and lists.  I am the one planning other people's surprise parties.  I love event planning and making something from nothing.

I didn't have concrete ideas about what I wanted for my wedding before I got engaged, but like a lot of girls, I was looking.  I was curious. Now that I have the "go-ahead" (if you will,) I feel okay looking at fabulous wedding blogs and vendors.

For some reason, I am cautious about giving out details of my wedding.  I'm hoarding information.  Clearly, not everything is planned.  I think it's because I want my guests to be in for a surprise and be delighted when they ultimately find out after arriving at the wedding.

Since I don't know how to put together a collage of pictures, I will have to post my pictures in a disorganized but brainstormy kind of fashion...

I love flowers. I love clean lines. Wheeee!

And I have a fabulous photographer lined up!! Check out Susan Solo's blog.  I think her photographs say a lot about her.  I am so addicted to her blog.

More later.

Also, I'm thinking of hiring somebody to help me customize my blog! Maybe if it's more "me" I would write more!! We'll see!

xox. R
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