Are you sure you want to marry HIM?

* It took me a ridiculous amount of time to write this. I don't expect the intended reader to ever see it but I needed to get it off my chest.  

Dear _____ (a person who I care so deeply about),

I don't expect you to understand.  You've seen me go through several relationships convinced that he could be "the one."  Rather, that was me trying to convince myself that somebody loved me enough to bestow that title unto me...

Well, I'm here. I'm in love, engaged and ready to start the next chapter in my life, with this man, my Marine.  You don't think it's glamorous or sexy. All you see is what you see from your television.  The men and women dying in our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I get it. I know that you don't understand that to me, he isn't just a Marine. To me, he is the man who loves me even when I am the grouchiest-grouch on the planet or when I've just woken up and my hair is standing in a million different directions.  He is the man who makes me laugh and tries hard to keep the foundation of our relationship strong.  I cherish that.

I know that being career military means that he will get deployed.  Yes, I'll have to sit through pre-deployment briefs where they will talk about wills and CACO (Casualty Assistance Call Officer, worst job ever... the person who goes to a house to tell them that their loved one has been killed) that I don't want to hear.  We'll have to say a temporary goodbye so he can go fight for his country. Yeah, it sucks. (tears)

But becoming a military spouse is an honor. I have learned about a world I had no prior knowledge.  I get to spread my love (and sometimes grumbles) about the military to my liberal friends who probably still have no understanding... I get to be a teammate of this crazy-awesome web of military spouses who share their stories and listen to yours when you need it most.

Nobody in their right mind would send their loved one out to war without hoping that he/she comes back, safe and sane. 

I don't want him to get deployed. But he will. That's something that I have to come to terms with. I have to learn to pray and pray well for him to come home.

But please, please don't ask me "are you sure you're choosing the right guy?" Or implying "shouldn't you just marry somebody safer? Maybe a investment banker or a lawyer or a teacher?" Because the man I fell in love with is a Marine. I'm not changing my mind. I'm planning on standing by his side until he decides he is done.

Believe what you will of what you hear from your news stations.  Maybe, if you listened to the actual hub-bub of military life, you'd understand it's not all scary. Maybe even you'd like it on the inside...

Love and pain,
R

My thoughts on 9/11

This year, 9/11 seemed harder to get through than the past years...

For me, it was much more difficult; I don't want to be cliched and I certainly don't want to sound like some of the sterile news reporting that happened on 9/11/09.

On 9/11/01, I lived in Southern California. I was on the water polo team that used to have a mandatory morning swim (at some ridiculous hours... think 5-7 am). Every morning, we would be in the pool, with the radio on, doing sets. We only had the radio on so that we could have something to keep us distracted when we poked our heads out of the water between sets, but we never really listened to it. Around a half hour or an hour into the swim, I remember my coach stopping all of us from swimming so we could listen to the crackly radio... something about a tower in New York getting hit by an airplane. It made no sense. We all had too many questions and no answers.

The attacks did not personally affect me; that is to say, nobody in my immediate world was killed by the twin towers falling... But I was an emotional wreck.

We take safely for granted. We take freedom for granted. We take not being attacked on home turf for granted.

This event challenged my world view in many ways. As a non-citizen (read: LEGAL RESIDENT), who has lived her entire life in the United States, I would argue that I am more patriotic and more passionate about this country than some of those who have been born to your "rights" as a citizen of this incredible country. It's not just because i'm dating military. It's because the United States is still a symbol for hope and my symbol of home. [As a side note, my journey of not knowing "who" I am in the world has made me come to the conclusion that whether I am a citizen of a particular country doesn't matter, only that I pledge allegiance when appropriate.]

So, 9/11 tested my young (NAIVE) thoughts... as it did many.

I can't imagine what it was like to live through it on this side of the country. I now live in the DC area, I take the Metro from the Pentagon every day to get to work. This year on 9/11, the weather was completely crappy. It poured for the first time this year, and it seemed appropriate. I got to the Pentagon and for no apparent reason, was moved to tears. It's not something I can explain; I am dumbfounded by people who think they can terrorize others into submission... and to choose the United States?

I was also moved because I thought of all of the people who lost their lives on the day and the days following the tragic attack.

But my final thoughts as I dragged myself on the Metro was, "what have we learned in 8 years?" What will we do from here? How are we impacting the world at large?

I know that question is answered directly by my Military Mafia friends. Our Troops, our intelligence community and many others are ensuring our freedom. For the rest us civilians, what are we doing? What have we learned so we don't perpetuate hate in the world?

I urge you to think about the world you love a little more today...



my 3 things:
1) My precious puppy who makes me laugh
2) Flowers that I got from TJs
3) My Shan who is getting married, joining the Military community!