Monday, July 5, 2010

MilGirl Live and Learn: Melissa

I hope you all enjoyed your Independence day!  I had a lovely weekend and I'll be blogging about that some other time! 

Just a sidebar, how much ucky gasses does this country release into the air with fireworks that are set off on the 4th of July?? Just a thought! 

Without further ado...

Semper Gumby

Today we are walking to Melissa over at Head in the Game. Heart in the sand! She is an Army girlfriend whose blog I love reading... thanks always for the deeper level of blog writing! I appreciate it a lot!! I also think that Melissa is our first MilGirl who is an Army girl!! 

Head in the Game. Heart in the Sand

(Look at them, they are so cute and color coordinated!)

Tell us a little about you: I am 26 and I am in law school in Minnesota while Al is serving in Iraq. When's he's stateside, he's in El Paso, TX so we've been long distance for our entire relationship. I like good conversation, a good book, a cold beer and a baseball game or simply a long drive blasting the radio. I am addicted to chapstick, I LOVE shoe-shopping and I have an odd affinity for eating pasta. I don't like people who don't vote or don't move fast enough and I despise cold weather and feet. I am not shy nor easily offended, but I'm a stickler for respect. Once you have that, I will be a loyal and passionate friend! I'm a fighter when I'm mad and a lover when I'm loving and at the end of the day, I want BOTH a career and a family and I will work hard for both! (Note from Editor: Melissa, can we be friends? I knew you were bad ass before but that just solidifies it for me!  Here's my phone number ;))

The branch of service: Army

How long have you been together/married?: We have been together a little under 2 years (however, we've known each other for 5)

How did you meet your man? Was it before he decided to sign his life away?: I did meet him before the Army. We worked together back in the day when we were just kids (20). After a few months of hanging out he told me he was leaving for boot camp and that was it. Fast forward 3 years and we re-acquainted ourselves and have pretty much been together ever since. So, while I was there before the Army, I certainly wasn't a factor in the decision in any way.

Is he career military?: He goes back and forth. If the job and circumstances were right, I think he absolutely would be. Right now, he wants to get his degree and start a family and neither are terribly conducive to staying in the Army.

How did you initially feel about him being in the military?: I had no problem with it. It was something he enjoyed and that he was good at. I was in law school so it was actually good timing (if there ever is one) for him to be doing what he does. I know I would feel a little differently if I wasn't so busy. Either way, I am extremely proud of him and his job and will continue to support him no matter what.

What attracted you to him? Was it the uniform?: Nope. I was attracted to how strong and hard-working he was. He was quiet, with friendly eyes and strong arms. When he chose to talk, he was funny...really funny. Of course, a shaved head and pair of dog tags certainly up the ante on the attraction scale!

How does/did your family feel about him being in the military?: My mother loves it! She goes to Blue Star Mothers meetings, even though he isn't her son and we're not married yet. She sends him more care packages than I do, definitely more than his family does. She's a riot. The rest of my family fully supports it, although they wish we could have a more "normal" relationship.

Does the sexy uniform (or the sense of pride you feel) make up for the sacrifices you have to make?: I wouldn't be with him if it wasn't worth the sacrifice. Although, the uniform doesn't cut it on its own. Ha ha. I am extremely proud of him, the man he is and the job he does - those things make it easier for me to continue in our life this way.

Have your plans been messed up thanks to the military?: They really haven't. I am blessed that I can still be in school, doing what I love. We are both pretty independent and while we are both working towards a life together, the individual things we have in our lives are very important. We have managed to keep the things/plans in our lives straight and converge them into plans we want together. I will eventually (when I'm done with school) move to wherever he is so we can start the next phase together.

Does it motivate you as a couple to get married sooner if he is slated to get orders to leave you (go off to training/school, move to a new duty station –PCS, deploy)? Did you elope?: Not for us. As I mentioned, keeping our individual goals was very important, which included not getting married before we were truly ready. We wanted things to be on our timeline and in our way, not motivated by the military and benefits, or by his deployment. It's certainly been a battle and my extensive school debt constantly reminds me of how my budget wouldn't be so tight if we had married before he left. But for us, we are stronger, more connected, and better individuals because we did it our way. We are definitely looking forward to the marriage part!

What is one piece of advice you wished you had received PRIOR to getting married or while dating?: When I was little, before I really understood what it all meant, my Oma (grandmother) told me something that I still remember and cherish: "Your relationship has to be based on mutual respect. There will be days where the butterflies are gone, where you don't even like that person because they make you so mad. But if you have respect, for who they are as a person, husband, etc... then you have all you need."

Melissa, you always make me think a little bit harder, 
dig a bit deeper with each piece of writing!
I love it! That's why I love reading you!

I hope y'all (readers) enjoyed her advice too!

Do you think you have some advice or stories to share? We'd love to hear it! Email me!
Date.a.marine [at]


  1. Oooh! That's me! Thanks for running this event, I am enjoying learning about everyone. And thank you so much for all the kind words!

  2. Hey Reina - can u let me know if I got the right email for ya? Date.a.marine - gmail?


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