Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Day 4: Something you have to forgive somebody for

Just as a warning for people reading this, I'm angry. Not at the person I have to forgive but at a situation.  My friend is in a painful situation and feels trapped and as a friend, all I can offer her is my advice.  I want her to be safe and free of hurt but I can't make decisions for her and that sucks a lot.

PS for those of you reading this... I hope you're enjoying the random self portraits of me. Hehe.

Day 4: Something you have to forgive somebody for

I know you feel that it's in my best interest not to marry a Marine. You're scared that he'd get killed if he got deployed. Well, it's a possibility that I'm scared of too.  But that's what he signed up to do. To protect THIS country.  I love him and I want to support him in that.  Also, it's not a matter of if he'll get deployed, because he will.  It's not just once but during this wretched war, it will be multiple times.  I will start to count the deployments rather than the passing seasons or years.  But this is my choice to support who I will. I forgive you that you make it painfully obvious to me each time the wedding comes up that you ask "are you sure you want to marry him?" I don't take that personally for him because it's not him that you are worried about, it's the uniform, the commitment.

I also forgive you that you aren't active or really willing to help plan the wedding. I forgive you when people ask if you're coming to my dress shopping.  I forgive you when I think about the Bridal Shower that I won't have. I'm not bitter. I have just gotten over the fact that you will not be present in this part of my life.  Wedding planning is absolutely fun. I love it but I wish you were at least part of it.  Maybe you'd vote down things I love, like my dress... so maybe it's good you're not.

I love you, and I appreciate your support when I need it. I recognize that you live across the world.  But that was YOUR choice to leave me. For that I forgive you.  But for making me feel like where you are is my home is wrong. Where I am is where I have desperately carved myself a little hole to call home. 

I forgive you for making me feel this upset before 9 am (It really wasn't all your fault anyway).


  1. That was a great post! You should be proud of yourself for being so forgiving.

  2. Agreed (with Steph)

    Thank you for sharing.

  3. Someone will throw you a bridal shower!! You get in a group of marine fiancees/wives it's bound to happen! =)

  4. That was a great post, I hope that I can be that forgiving to some people in my life! Thank you for sharing! I think I may have to try this 30 days of truth thing!

  5. Aww I'm sorry hun. I don't know who this post was meant for but I went through a similar situation before I married my husband. Certain members of my family weren't all that supportive and kept urging me to wait to marry him until he had graduated boot camp and completed his training, to see if we could really handle being married. However I'm glad I followed my heart and married my husband when I did, otherwise I would be in a situation like so many other military wives and be forced to give up my dream wedding simply because military life is always changing and its hard to plan a wedding around that. The way we did it was perfect and I wouldn't change a thing about it. And as for the person who's not being so involved in your wedding plans, I am sure he or she will come to regret it once everything is said and done. I know my family did...anyway good luck dear! :)

  6. Oh dear! I'm sorry that someone is this unsupportive of your choice. Just know that there are many more people in your life who realize what a wonderful thing Dave is doing and that you are an angel for being supportive of him.

    Can you imagine how sad this world would be if people refused to love each other because there was risk associated with it?

    I am so proud of you for forgiving this person, what a tough situation.

    No bridal shower??? That is just ridiculous. Maybe we can do one the morning of your bachelorette party. You tell me who would be the best resource to make that happen and I would love to help! <3


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